


Muggle Studies

by Dramione84, Squarepeg72



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 02:58:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9301052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dramione84/pseuds/Dramione84, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squarepeg72/pseuds/Squarepeg72
Summary: When Luna and her boyfriend, Blaise, suggest that Draco doesn't know anything about Muggle life, he insists on learning more. With Hermione's help, he starts on his journey through Muggle Studies. The catch? He's coerced his friends into doing the same. Now, Harry is forced to teach Pansy more about the Muggle world, while Theo enlists Ginny's expertise. Obviously, chaos ensues.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a collaborative piece, each chapter will be written using six object and two phrase prompts by one of the three authors.
> 
> The first chapter is written by Dramione84 and the prompt was:  
> Shovel. Ham and Cheese.  
> Toaster, Hammer, and Milk  
> "Did you really think I would fall for that one again?"  
> "You're not going to like option 2"

“Alright, let’s start small,” Hermione smiled as she pushed the fridge door shut with her hip.  Draco frowned up at her from where he was sat at the kitchen island reading the newspaper.

“You’re not serious are you?” he muttered as she deposited the ingredients on the countertop.  

 

Hermione turned, her hands going to her hips.  “You promised!” she reminded him, giving him a pointed look that assured him that she would hold him to whatever drunken promises he had made to her the night before.

 

Draco shook his head, avoiding her look knowing he would give in.  “I have no recollection of any such promise,” he informed her curtly as she made her way over to him, one arm curling languidly over his shoulder.

 

“Don’t you remember last night?” she purred softly, as Draco’s mind filled with a montage of hazy images of their evening, which had started out as a casual dinner with Theo and Luna and ended rather passionately in Hermione’s bed.

Draco shifted in his seat.  “You’ll have to be more specific,” he huffed as he recalled the haphazard, alcohol-fueled lovemaking that had resulted in the chaos they had found the lounge in that morning.  Draco made a mental note to ask Hermione where on earth he had obtained the little plastic shovel and bucket that he had found under the coffee table when he was tidying up.

 

“You said you didn’t want to be outdone by Theo who has embraced all things muggle.  You were so jealous of his apartment with its state of the art bed that turns into a cinema.  I said you have to work up to that level of technology and you said you were up for the challenge.  You promised to let me teach you everything you need to know to survive in the muggle world and best Theo,” she reminded him, raising her eyebrows.  “Are you now telling me that you are not up for the challenge?”

 

Draco pursed his lips as he frowned.  “Fine.  But what’s with all this?” he gestured to where she had set out the milk, eggs, ham and cheese.

Hermione smiled, tugging his hand until he allowed her to pull him from his stool, huffing dramatically.

“I’m going to teach you how to make breakfast omelettes,” she grinned as she took the eggs and began cracking them into a bowl.  

Draco rolled his eyes. “Per-leese,” he drawled.  “I make the best breakfast omelettes you have ever tasted,” he informed her as he drew his wand.  Hermione curled her fingers around the wood, stopping him mid flourish, and earning her a look that suggested she was crossing a very dangerous line.  She smiled sweetly up at him.

“Without magic,” she told him, raising her eyebrow to match the intensity of his look, smiling at the way he rolled his shoulders back in an attempt to preserve some of his dignity as he submitted to her demand.

“Fine,” he agreed, failing to keep the sense of defeat out of his voice.

* * *

 

Two hours, three frying pans and one panicked call to stand down the local watch of the London Fire Brigade later, Hermione gave up.  “I should have started you off with something simpler,” she sighed and she lifted the loaf out of the bread bin.

Draco’s forehead creased in a deep frown as his cheeks coloured.  “Are you suggesting I am some sort of imbecile?” he huffed as he scraped the remnants of what alleged to be a breakfast omelet out of the frying pan and into the bin. 

“I’m not suggesting anything,” Hermione replied.  “Even Ron can manage a simple breakfast,” she stage whispered as Draco gave up and roughly shoved the frying pan in the bin.

 

He watched, curious, as she pulled a silver object from the cupboard, placing it on the counter top.  She pushed the plug into the socket and flipped the switch before turning to him.  “This is a toaster,” she informed him, pointing to the strange object.  

“I see,” Draco replied, eyeing the object suspiciously.  “How does it work?”

Hermione pulled two slices of bread out of the packet, dropping them into the slots, before pushing the lever down.

“And that’s all there is to it?” Draco asked, shock evident in his voice as he leaned over the object, peering into the slots.  He watched in fascination as the wires inside glowed orange.  Suddenly the toast popped up, startling Draco and causing Hermione to laugh as he jumped back in fright, knocking the cupboard above with his head.  As he jumped back a hammer fell down onto the counter causing Draco to swear in shock.  Hermione was laughing so hard tears were falling down her face.

 

“Oh sure, laugh it up.  That hammer could have killed me!” Draco cried, his jaw setting as he sulked, arms across his chest as he leant against the counter.

“I’m sorry, but I did tell you when you were fixing the shelves the other night not to leave the tools out,” she reminded him as she calmed down, stepping to him and coaxing his arms to uncross.

“I’m sorry,” she told him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

Draco refused to kiss her back at first, before relaxing into her, pulling her closer as his tongue parted her lips, causing her to moan.

 

“So, does that mean I am beyond teaching?” Draco asked, unable to keep the hope out of his voice.

Hermione eyed him suspiciously.  “Were you burning the breakfast on purpose?”

Draco didn’t answer.

“Oh, you…” she began, lifting the damp tea towel from where she had left it on the side after putting out the fire.  “Did you really think I would fall for that one again?”

Draco darted away from her as she started to swat him with the tea towel.

“Well, you kind of did, didn’t you?” he laughed as she reddened with temper.

“You are incorrigible!” she cried, smacking his backside with the tea towel.

“Alright, there is no need to get kinky now,” he told her with a wink as he reached out, grabbed hold of the tea towel and pulled her close.  

Now it was Hermione’s turn to sulk.

 

“Don’t pout,” he whispered, kissing her.

Hermione refused to cave.

Draco rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  So what, pray tell is my punishment?” he asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

“Well…” Hermione considered, tapping a finger to her lips.  “You have two options,” she informed him.

“And what are those options?” he asked, smirking down at her.

 

Hermione thought for a moment.  “You’re not going to like option two,” she told him somewhat cryptically, earning her a raised eyebrow.

“Sounds ominous,” he replied.  “So what is the first option then?”

“You let me teach you about muggle technology, and how to do things the muggle way, and you properly make the effort to learn.  After all, at the moment you are allowing Theo to best you,” she reminded him.

 

Draco’s curiosity got the better of him.  “And option two?”

Hermione glanced at him.  “You won’t like it.”

“Tell me anyway,” he instructed, shrugging his shoulders.  “I don’t see how it can be that bad.”

“You let Luna teach you all about muggle technology,” Hermione smirked, laughing as Draco’s face displayed a range of emotions as he considered this.

“Yeah I think I should stick with you as my teacher,” Draco told her with a wink.  “You certainly taught me a thing or two last night,” he whispered, tugging her to him as she blushed.  “You remembered that did you?” 

Draco frowned.  “My memories are a bit hazy.  Why don’t you remind me?” he suggested as he dropped his lips to her neck.

 

Hermione sighed as she tipped her head back.  “Maybe I will,” she sighed.

 


End file.
